Let's talk about.... ENEMIES!

So today I watched a movie called The Face of the Enemy. It was about how we create a strong aversion towards nations or people based on social construction and outer influence. The images, the propaganda, the constant repetiotion by every important person around makes you construct a reality in which US and THEY are two opposing sides, and you need to hate THEM, because if you do not hate them and hurt them, and exterminate them, you cannot exist. But game theory has proven that it is a cooperation that is needed for mutual success. So, as an end point, cooperate!

And of course, social psychology always has an effect on me. huge success from the last movie since I did not lecture myself and were not totally upset and were not crying for an hour after and did not run in my friend's room to calm me down. Which is another proof I am rather in a good condition, regretfully for everyone who would enjoy seeing me down in the dust. Sorry, not gonna happen. And if it does, noone is gonna know :D

Back to the movie and cooperation. It is our percepion of the individual that makes us defensive or not. The first impression does matter. Especially if it is a really good one. Then you practically prefer not to change it later on, because who wants to make a good person seem bad? Even privately, we do percieve ourselves. So that tides up to my usual forgiveness and belief that everyone is a good person inside and everyone deserves a second chance. No wonder it is so hard for me to be really mad at someone for a long time. It takes really a lot to make me really upset or angry at you. I may be neutral, but never angry. It;s a good thing though, keeps me from having all these negative feelings against all these people who have done bad things to me. And makes me happier. And makes me a better person :)
I guess this is why I still have these human perceptions of him regardless of everything. After things have gone better, I just see it as a distant memory without real importance. And I wonder, have I really learnt from it? Because I feel like I have not, and I am scared it will happen again and again. They say this is a normal reaction, but I am still feeling like I am stupid and not careful enough. But it also takes a lot for people to come close to me. I kinda do not really care. Of course the people who were with me and were supportive and showed me they love me are they and I love them, and I trust them, but the others... the ones who were not involved and the ones who are new in my life I just do not care about. I think my attitude right now is not to put any effort to be close with anyone. I have enough good qualities for everyone who is interested to be my friend to approach me. If they really want, I am open for it. If not, their loss. I am not gonna go after them. For friendship or other relationships. Especially intimate relationships. People who do not try for me are just not worth my energy. It makes me confident, and protects me from regrets later on. No, I do not have regrets about it, I would probably do the exact same things. I do not want to change the past. I want to change the future. And it is a really empowering sense to see it all working again... really amazing...

hmm, ok i got distracted and forgot my thought... will add more later :D