We are all alone in the universe

This sounds like one of these lines in some of the futuristic movies and then they find alliens and get shocked. Ouch.
But the more you look at it, the more you realize that it is true deep down. Noone can really understand you, noone care enough. People are ultimately selfish. It is more important what they think and what is best for them. there is no compassion, no love anymore. And all these movies.... I have not really met anyone who is able to sacrifice their life for someone else. Except me I guess. I am doing it right now. Exposing myself to the risk of not living by giving another chance. I am either stupid, or I have that intrinsic believe in good and love that makes me take the wrong decisions.
Recently, many people have argued that girls are bitches, guys are jerks, but we care about each other and we are all nice and so on. guess what? We are not. Here is a story:
So obviously I have been a huge mess in the last 2 weeks for obvious, yet personal reasons. So if you don;t know what am talking about, do yourself a favour and do not ask. But, I needed support from my friends. So I did tell a few of them. People who I respect and who I believed could at least listen and assure me it was not my fault and I did not deserve that. So I did meet a bunch of them separately per my request. Some I told, others I just could not bring myself to the point where I would be able to. And for some, the settings were not apropriate either. I made a point to myself not to get upset in public, because that would not be good for me or the people I am with. So, here is how it went.
One person (who I love and thank and will always owe a lot to) was there for me through the tears and the pain, she put me to bed few times, stayed with me, I invaded her room every day and still do. She did not know what to do, she knew she could not help, and it made her sad. But just being with me helps me a lot, because I know that I have a safe place to go to, and someone who loves me unconditionally and will not leave me just because of my problems.
The second person, well she said, I told you, you should have listened to me, you are stupid for staying, etc, etc. Which obviously made me even more upset and feeling weak and blaming myself for what happened.
The third person, well he got 3 hours of delusions and torturous talking from me. I guess he survived. he knew he could not help me, but decided that me leaving school would be the best thing to do given the circumstances. Let;s say that for him to say that, it meant he either does not know me, or he is too selfish to see any other way out. And on top of that he completely forgot what I told him and did not call me the whole week. I guess that talks for itself enough.
The fourth person, well he is the kind of guy who everyone adores, and everyone thinks he is amazing, and strong, and friendly and everything. So, considering we used to be really good friends and told each other everything, I went to him, because we have always told each other we are there for help. But, we spend 25 min together, and prob 10 of these he talked to other people. First he did not believe me that what I told him actually happened. Second he told me I was idiot for not involving the police. Third he obviously seemed disinterested in anything and just wanted to get out of there. And on top of that he asked me where I always find fucked up people who disrespect me and hurt me and so on. He left without calling me for the next few days. As I found out later, the reason was because he could not deal with it because he was not ready to put the effort due to personal problems, Which I do understand, but I feel led on, because he could have at least tried to symphatize. I walked out of that meeting more fucked up then I got into it. I just regret that I still thought we could be friends even though he has done similar things many times in the past. Obviously, my mistake for being nice and understanding and giving him another chance. I am so sorry he has to be out of my life, because I really love him. But sometimes, we love people who hurt us. Love and like/friendship have nothing in common after a certain point.
The forth person I told was very nice and understanding. Did not know what to say or do either. But she was very compassionate, she listened, and assured me I could always call her and talk about anything. There was that kind of care and warmth that came from her... She was a good person to end the week with.

Of course, there were others, not friends, more like co-workers, acquaintances who found out about it one way or the other. Well, they did not know it was me. End result: I feel like I am weak for giving it another try after what happened, I am scared it will happen again, and I feel like I cannot control my decision and be rational. I think I am stupid, weak, and if something happens, it would be mostly my own fault for allowing it to happen.

Maybe if I was not so forgiving, if I did not believe in goodness, and if I was selfish and did not care and was arrogant bitch like most people around, I would be much better off.
At the end, all that matters is ME, and I am alone in making myself happy. Do not rely on anyone, because noone can give themselves to you. For God's sake, even you cannot give yourself to you thourougly.

God save ME from MYSELF.