Fear and Pain

I cannot describe it. Never been in such a shock. Why is someone able to do such a thing... I... just...
I need to talk, but cannot tell anyone. I thought i could try to post here just to let it go.
i just know that it hurts so much and i am scared to death... it's not even funny how sarcastic this sounds...
i just can't. not now, not yet. i cannot think or talk!
i hope noone ever experiences what happened to me.
I am not religious, but for the first time i need god to help me because noone else can.
please god save them from the pain and fear and give me peace to keep living
please god please please