Serendepity

According to most of my neighbours, I got the best roomy room in the house, and it is very cosy and what not. I love my room too :D But then, as I told them, this is my only home, and all I do is move from one res room to another. So I should at least try to make it feel like home. :) people say that home is where you feel like at home. In the last year I have changed like 4 places. The beginning wasn;t exactly homy, but now this is my home and I love it :D I think I will be sticking around for some more time too.

Everything is going really smooth. No problems of even slight importance, which makes me really happy and relaxed nowadays. Still not sure what I am doing for Thanksgiving though... Well, I work Sunday night, and I got invited to a party on Saturday night, so going there. A. is leaving town for the weekend and will not be home till Monday, and the house will be pretty empty as well. I thought to call them and go visit maybe Monday, but they did not say anything, and I really feel weird seeing them. I know I have to try again, but honestly, after the last time and all the bullshit, I am don;t feel like dealing with the again. Maybe Christmas... Which reminds me I will have to tell Nona I cannot leave res for the holidays and will need to stay here... Probably will either go somewhere out of town or visit friends/family. I saw that ad for New Years in Montreal for only 100 bucks, so that would be tones of fun :D Anyways, there is still time to think about that.

Seriously, if I get more e-mails I am gonna completely shoot someone. last night alone I wrote about 20, and during the day got like uhmmm over 10 for sure. At least it is not phone calls wow :D

The idea about reveiling the truth keeps bugging me. I mean, it will be with only a couple of people, but still... this is a major test for them, and I really don;t want to confuse them. At the same time, I know that if I want our friendship to be really real, I will need to tell them eventually anyways. They keep asking... Sometimes I say things... like I told A. certain minor things, and C. is really curious, and she keeps asking me. I hate when people pity me.

What else? Uhmm... I am super happy these days :D Mainly cause of Nate and Gary :D I always think about them and they make me smile :D

Oh... Don;t ask me why, but I have been thinking about death... You know how people sometimes scream when they hear that word. I told A. that if I die tomorrow I will not regret dying. It is true. But not as for G. in the negative way. For me being able to say that is a strength, love, pride, confidence, belief... I am happy with the way things work out now. And you know what I wanted always in my life? To make one person smile, to make one person's life better. I have. I see it in Nate's eyes when I open the door and he calls my name and run towards me and has the biggest smile on his face. And when we are out playing on the swings or the slide, and all the amazing things he does and the laughter... This is my happiness. This is all I ever wanted. And I got it :D I really will not regret dying :D he is probably the only person who can make me cry... *tear* Love you baby!

Ok, I know there was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot and sleep is not bad idea right now :D

Nighty Night
My heart yours