Cat's Eye

Is the name of the stone on my necklace. I am sure you all have seen it because I am extremely proud of it and I also believe it keeps me from negative energies. So I finnaly found earings and bracellet that are also with this particular stone, and I adore them all! They are so pretty. I also found the symbolics around the cat's eye, and it has the wonderful things like confidence, self-assertiveness and I forgot what else. But as A. said, it all was exactly a description of who I am :D I am proud of myself too :D

The weekend was great as always :D I loved it! Oh, we watched First Daughter on Friday, and it was way way way tooo sweeet! I don't cry at movies, so no problems for me there, but a lot of people around us did wow. Not sure if A. cried.
Sex training was great as always, especially today when we got the LGBTQ people to talk about personall experiences. I have not been so close and face-to-face with a transsecual person before, so was a great experience. So now I am all set to go for a SEC counsellor :D And I get the party shift: Friday 6-9 pm with two more very nice and talkative people, so should be fun :D We may organize our own games or events, or movies or whatnot cause it may be kinda slow :D

The SEC training on coming out was a very interesting impact on me... It is weird, but I am much more comfortable coming out sexually, than talking about the other stuff. BUt the way they described their experiences with the shame and guilt and people calling them names really reminded me of the feelings I experience. They may not be about LGBTQ issues, but very much similar. And it makes me very angry that many people around me, from the old surrounding are very conservative and even hurtful when it comes to sexual coming out. Even more so when it comes to other types... I keep convincing myself that I definately need to fuck off all old close minded people in my life and just move on.

And on the coming out issues, I have been thinking to share with A and C, because they are very nice and supportive, and I know they will understand and will not judge me, and will not leave me after I tell them. One day I will be an advocate for family members support services in CAMH. But I first really need to come out to myself first, and be honest. I know I have been doing that since it happened, but I am still uncomfortable with my friends... One reason because of many wrong people in my life who I know will not take it very well, would blame me, or even worse, will say nothing. Sometimes I cannot believe what kind of people I have been liking in the past. Time to change that.

Otherwise, I still feel tired, but at least the long weekend with no training is coming so I will have the time to catch up with stuff. And go out inbetween, because this weekend I just prefered to relax at home and watch some teary movies :D

Ok, I actually need to go to work, so I will talk to you some other time.

Love you :)
Nighty Night!