NEVER AGAIN such insanity!!!!

I am STUPID!!! very very very stupid!
So it is the summer, I work full time 9-5. And I decide to crash a 3000 word essay on mental health and stigma for my SOC101 class in one freaking day! So I started at 6:30 and was done around 5:30 am. Good H. was online the whole night, because I was going to collapse. NOt to mention the next day was insane and I could hardly deal with the pressure at work.
Which reminds me work is really getting a lot of pressure on me recently. NOt that I care, but after doing the exact same thing millions of times, well it gets bad!!!

Talking about care... honestly, I do not care about anything anymore... I do try sometimes to care about people who care about me. But it does not really work. I do not know. As my friend says, I probably close myself for the word and just live somewhat. I guess it is true. I need a break from so much emotions and so many people. And mainly it is because I do not really like many people, and I know that many people do not like me. And I am tired of knowing that. I just want to isolate myself from all that nothingness. So I stop caring. Looking back 3 months ago, I remember crying because it was so wonderful with him and her. I believed it was really special this time. And right now both of them are out of my life. Another example of seasonal friends. I am wondering how things will be in September. I guess I will just forget what happened and go on.
But seriously, right now I do not care about anyone and anything. I do not even care about myself. The things I do, the people I see, it is more cause I have to, or I want to, or just so I feel good about my life than cause I care. I do get pissed off, but then deep inside me it is just empty. I do like my life though. I adore the way things are right now. AS M. told me, I have everything someone in my position would want. Maybe even more than I should...

So, I am seeing a friend tomorrow, who decided to contact me, and I was a little nasty to her since the last time she messed things up. But I still want to see her, go shopping, go for dinner and movies. NOt that I would not do all these things alone. but I need to be a good friend. I do not care though.
Then, I refused to go to my parents' bbq and house warming party on Saturday. Told them I need a break from them. Which is true. Right now I am fed up with their bullshit and stupif fucked up attitude, so I do not want to see them for some time. But I may be able to convince M. to come over to my place Saturday night, drink some, smoke some weed and go to a club to get wasted. We will see how that goes. I really hope he does not have some serious attentions towards me, cause I will have to cut him off directly, and he is too nice for me to do that. And I do not think he is brave enough to try to sleep with me,s o I think we can have some fun and that would be all.
Sunday I am going with other friends to the Taste of the Danford :D I cannot wait to see the girls :D Should be so much fun :D
So the weekend is gonna be busy wow :D
K, i need to put up another topic :)